The power of 10-Bethany

Today is Day Two of my Orange Rhino Challenge.

*Happy Dance*

I made it through Day One!

Here is how that day went...

Yup...baking soda!

I finally got both girls down for a nap at the same time. Do you know what that means?

I could take a shower! Woooo!

Clearly a certain 2 1/2 year old woke up during my shower. 
My first thought was to yell, "NEVAEH! WHY did you do that?!"
I stopped myself. I remembered that a few days ago I had sprinkled baking soda on that chair because Savannah vomited on it. So Nevaeh was probably trying to help me.

Instead of yelling, I sat her on the Thinking Chair, cleaned up the mess, and then explained that next time she wants to help Mommy clean, she needed to ask me first. She said, "I sorry Mommy, I make a mess. I love you sooo much!"

I'm so glad I didn't yell ♥

Lesson I learned? When faced with an onslaught of baking soda-covered-chair (Or whatever naughty incident) count to 10 before you react. Think to yourself "Why did they do this?" instead of yelling, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!" 

You may find that they had sweet intentions, if less than perfect execution of said intentions.  

Day Two is pretty stellar so far! Tomorrow I think I'll explain the aforementioned Thinking Chair I created a while back :-)

Have a Rhinoceros day!

Sunshine Therapy! -Erika

I am almost at the end of day 2 of not yelling at my kids. Although I did come very close a few times yesterday, I didn't use more than a firm voice where necessary and it felt so great! 
Today was amazing! My husband and I took the boys to the playground this afternoon. I was lying out on a blanket with Billy enjoying the fresh air while Tim ran around with Timmy playing on all the equipment and even teaching him to fly a kite! 
Nothing gives me greater satisfaction then being able to enjoy my children, and being able to see them happy. Today, they were so very happy! Happy children make for an easier day, and when it comes down to it, the sweet sunshine is a must! I thoroughly enjoy photographing my kids in natural light, just being kids, the way it should be. 
There was no greater time to start this challenge than now. I will be very well into it when cabin fever hits again and another true test comes along! So if you're feeling like your kids are going to make you pull your hair out today, grab your camera, and take them outside. Photograph your sunshine babies and enjoy them! 

Day One-Bethany

Dear Landon, Nevaeh, and Savannah,
Here we go babies. This is for you. Day One of absolutely no yelling. Landon, you are with your real mommy today, so my Day One with you will come later.

You kids are my world. It's weird how everyone tells you, "You won't understand until you're a parent" and I never understood what they meant, until I had kids. They were right! You are my everything. It's a delicious ache in my heart, there is so much love there. When I hold you, I just want to absorb you into my skin; I can't get you close enough to me. Even being in my belly wasn't close enough.

I want you kids to feel that love. Not anger or frustration when I've had a hard day. You are kids; you're still learning. It's Daddy and my responsibility to teach you how to handle your emotions, how to focus your energy and to comfort you when you just don't get it yet. We can't sit by and expect you to just figure it out, and yell at you the whole time.

So here we go.

Day One.

I love you!

Telling her to stop acting like a brat, while acting like a brat myself -Bethany

I was sitting here thinking, "Ok, how am I going to write this?" and then I realized that I can't do that. I can't sit here and think of the best way to write about my biggest fault, because that will be a coverup. The point of this blog is to be raw and honest about the fact that I yell far too much at my kids.

So, day one of my "yelling confessions" takes us to approximately ten minutes ago. My girls are getting over pink eye. Landon came over with a couple weeks ago (Which was another bout of me yelling, "Don't touch your sisters! They'll get pink eye!") Nevaeh has finished with her eye drops but Savannah still has a few more days of the drops. Nevaeh has always been my big helper, and admittedly that sometimes frustrates me. She tends to over help with some things. Usually when I give Savannah her eye drops, I have Nevaeh talk to her as a distraction. I left the eye drops on the coffee table. Turned my back for a minute and when I looked, Nevaeh was squirting the drops onto Savannah's face. My reflex response was to shout, "NO! Nevaeh put that down!" and grab the drops from her. She flipped out saying "I help baby sister! I give her medicine!"

Those of you who know Nevaeh, know how sensitive of a child she is. Everything she does is with good intention, and when a voice is raised she falls apart and is so remorseful. I know this, and yet I still yell. She has been a sweetheart all day long, so why did I let me temper flare up so quickly over something so petty? She didn't get the drops in Savannah's eyes, and even if she had it probably wouldn't have hurt her. They are eye drops after all.

Sitting here thinking about it, I realize how I should have responded. She listens very well when treated with respect and asked to do something. Had I simply said, "Nevaeh, can I have those drops back please?" She likely would have given them to me. Maybe a bit more prompting, but going straight to yelling and snatching them from her should not have been the answer. I did give her a hug and apologize for yelling, and she said "It's all right Mommy." She's so forgiving <3 I could learn a lot from her.

My countdown starts tomorrow. These days with my babies are few and precious, and I will not waste another day.

GET A HOBBY! -Erika

Has anyone ever told you when you're stressed out that you need a hobby? Well they are right! As I prepare myself to start my 365 day journey tomorrow, I've been working on coming up with ways to keep my cool in those stressful times. So I'm going to start by embracing my hobby and using it as an outlet. Scrapbooking! I've become positively obsessed with cutting up the pictures and organizing them into books with cute stickers and embellishments so I have these amazing projects to look back on. When I first started scrapbooking, of course, Timmy, always the curious toddler, would be all over my scissors, glue, stickers, everything he could get his hands on. And being the stressed out mom of a toddler in training, I would scold him for touching everything. Now when I'm getting out my supplies however, I let his creativity flow along with mine. I give him a piece of scrapbook paper, some photo scraps, a couple pairs of scissors, and a sheet of stickers and let him go crazy! Now what do I get out of scrapbooking besides a fun project for myself? I get some amazing memories that last a life time, of watching my sweet boy create his own "pages" as well. 

He sits on the floor in front of me and says "help Mommy," while he puts everything together his way. Now that is an awesome trade for yelling at him to leave everything alone. 
So what am I trying to say? Alternative number 1 to yelling at your child, improvise what you're doing in a way that makes it special for him, and makes him feel like he's helping! If you're folding laundry and he doesn't quite know how, get an extra basket for him to put his own folded laundry in so it's separated and you can fix it as you go. My son likes to stand on a chair in the kitchen an help me with the dishes, so I'll let him put dirty ones in the sink for me and clean dishes in the drainer to dry.Now I just need to find something for him to do while I'm cooking.....