I was sitting here thinking, "Ok, how am I going to write this?" and then I realized that I can't do that. I can't sit here and think of the best way to write about my biggest fault, because that will be a coverup. The point of this blog is to be raw and honest about the fact that I yell far too much at my kids.
So, day one of my "yelling confessions" takes us to approximately ten minutes ago. My girls are getting over pink eye. Landon came over with a couple weeks ago (Which was another bout of me yelling, "Don't touch your sisters! They'll get pink eye!") Nevaeh has finished with her eye drops but Savannah still has a few more days of the drops. Nevaeh has always been my big helper, and admittedly that sometimes frustrates me. She tends to over help with some things. Usually when I give Savannah her eye drops, I have Nevaeh talk to her as a distraction. I left the eye drops on the coffee table. Turned my back for a minute and when I looked, Nevaeh was squirting the drops onto Savannah's face. My reflex response was to shout, "NO! Nevaeh put that down!" and grab the drops from her. She flipped out saying "I help baby sister! I give her medicine!"
Those of you who know Nevaeh, know how sensitive of a child she is. Everything she does is with good intention, and when a voice is raised she falls apart and is so remorseful. I know this, and yet I still yell. She has been a sweetheart all day long, so why did I let me temper flare up so quickly over something so petty? She didn't get the drops in Savannah's eyes, and even if she had it probably wouldn't have hurt her. They are eye drops after all.
Sitting here thinking about it, I realize how I should have responded. She listens very well when treated with respect and asked to do something. Had I simply said, "Nevaeh, can I have those drops back please?" She likely would have given them to me. Maybe a bit more prompting, but going straight to yelling and snatching them from her should not have been the answer. I did give her a hug and apologize for yelling, and she said "It's all right Mommy." She's so forgiving <3 I could learn a lot from her.
My countdown starts tomorrow. These days with my babies are few and precious, and I will not waste another day.